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Saying Goodbye is so Hard to do

8/27/2014

13 Comments

 
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Saying goodbye is so hard to do.

When something has been a part of the very fiber of your life, a constant, an unsustaining source that fills you day to day, it is hard to part when the ‘season’ is over. That doesn't mean that it is ever completely gone it just means that we are separated and we must learn to move to the next season.

This summer has been a season of great loss but also an opportunity for great growth.
July 2nd my life's mentor had to leave me. My mother entered the gates of larger life.

Then just a short 6 weeks later I also lost another 'parent' like mentor and I must now learn to find my path in this new world without them.
Losing my mother is a great loss but one that is inevitable to happen. If you live you also must die. Mother did live. She continues to live in me and in everyone she touched through her 85 years of life. The loss is great and the hole is huge. But life moves on. 

I can’t change it only move forward, that’s what Mother would tell me and taught me, "you can’t stand still Teri", so I honor her memory by carrying on what I learned from her and continue to strive to be a better person for it. I don't make light of this loss, it is quite significant but that is not what I am really talking about here. 
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While still relishing in losing such a significant part of my life I have also lost what feels like another ‘parent’ that has been nurturing me and was a constant comfort for the past 5 years, my writing home of Squidoo.

You may not have been familiar with this website and it is about to be no more in just a few short days and it will be easily replaced whereas losing my mother can never be replaced. But for me Squidoo was like a parent to me, teaching me how to talk, write and gain my footing finding my voice on the internet. It was just like a parent/child relation to me. 

I was an infant and they saw me through my first steps, my first words, crawling until I could run, educating me from kindergarten beginning with the ABC’s to graduation and released me out to the world to explore and make my way but remaining there for that behind the scenes support.

I tried other writing platforms and they were alright but something kept drawing me back to Squidoo.  There was a ‘playfulness’ in the community, a ‘lightheartedness’ and it oozed with positivity [is that even a word?].  Maybe it was those cute little monsters. It seemed while others were playing 'farmville' or what ever the most current trending game was at the time I was writing, earning points and monsters on Squidoo, that was productivity for me. It resonated with me and I quickly found my home, my community of writers that I could learn to grow from and grow with. 

They allowed me freedom to explore in learning to be ‘me’ not teaching me to be ‘them’. They didn't train me to duplicate their voice but to find my own voice. 

It was the support I needed. The voices said it’s okay to fall down and cheered me on to get up and try again, nurturing the baby steps to adulthood. Isn't that what a parent does?

I was invited to step in and take community roles to help and nurture others, teaching me leadership among my peers. 

They taught me to give back to a community that helped me when I was new which in turn continued my growth in helping others, teaching me to give of myself. 

Then came the ultimate, for me at least,  awarded an honored role as a community ‘contributor’ to showcase my love for beading and my loyalty to the community which taught me to step out and be my own person.
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But...

August 15 changed all of that and within a few short days they will be gone and all that is left behind is what I take away from the relationship. I have a support system in place, my squid brothers and sisters that I will continue with but I must learn to stand on my own 2 feet.

Squidoo closing has created mixed emotions just as in my mother’s death, not the same level of depth of course, but they both have their very strong similarities in my life. 

Both nurtured, groomed and taught me right from wrong. Both trained me in a trade. With their departure it has provided me opportunity to write my own script for life now without their constant support. They both live in me but it’s up to me in the end to set my own course, make my way and learn to work differently as I continue on. 

So this is my farewell to Squidoo and Mom, you have taught me to stand on my own 2 feet and I hope I make you proud…now it’s time to grow.

Ado Squidoo…here's to a good run and friends/family made. Cheers to our next 'season'.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.
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13 Comments
Nancy Hardin
8/27/2014 07:09:31 am

Yes, your mother and your Squidoo experience WILL live on in you. It's what makes us the people we are. I know the grief that comes with both losses, but yours was particularly rough, in that they all came within a short span of time. I wish you a bright new future and happiness in your new found independence.

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Teri link
8/29/2014 02:53:50 pm

Nancy, there you are again always one of my biggest cheerleaders...thank you for your kind and warming words and thanks for being there to see me through some of the rough patches. Cheers my friend, here is to our new future.

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Linda Jo Martin, the Book Lady at YouTube link
8/27/2014 08:08:02 am

I stand with you... sorrowful to see our happy, fun site reduced to nothingness. I will miss it, and cherish the experience of being part of Squidoo... but am focused on moving on... getting situated on HubPages. Like you, I lost a parent not long ago. Oh, well... it was 2011 but it still feels recent to me. I've had too many losses in the last few years: a writing community I valued, my father, my relationship, my home in CA, and now this. But we survive and what we experienced in the past builds us into the people we are intended to become.

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Teri link
8/29/2014 02:58:13 pm

thank you Linda for visiting me here...you have certainly experienced your losses as well so I appreciate your comforting words knowing where we both are right now together helps me not feel alone. There are brighter days ahead and moving forward with a good support system that we have is the best step forward. Hugs to you my squidoo converted hub friend.

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Susan link
8/27/2014 08:55:55 am

What a sweet tribute to your mother and to your time at Squidoo. It's relationships that count, without a doubt. Very glad I'll still be seeing you around the new neighborhood.

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Teri link
8/29/2014 03:01:18 pm

Dear Susan; You have been a voice I have listened to over the years and glad that our friendship will continue on cheering each other as we all adjust to the new transition. Thanks for your visit here in one of my new worlds.

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Diana
8/27/2014 10:51:25 am

I can relate to everything you shared. The loss of my mother on July 23 has put the Squidoo loss in perspective for me. I cherished what I became while writing as a member of the Squidoo community. When I find my new writing legs, and come up for air during this grieving season, I will expect to have grown in ways that expand my message and essence. I feel we are joined at the heart because of the experiences and values we have in common. Peace to you.

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Teri link
8/29/2014 03:08:18 pm

Oh Diana; I can't express how touched I am by what we have just gone through and having you in my circle has been a great comfort. I have been utterly amazed at how people have been put in my path just at this time. Your comment speaks volumes to me and my heart. God's blessings as we both continue on in our new world.

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Barbara
8/27/2014 10:57:40 am

Teri beautifully written. There are never words for the loss of a parent are there? It seems no matter how much we try to explain it to someone (what we feel) the words just never seem to say it in the depth that we feel it. That's what I've found. I'm like you at this stage as well, trying to get through it all. I remember something Nancy said to me once in my trying to find the words to explain the pain of losing my dad, and this fits for your mom I'm sure; she said, 'it's as though everyone else is going on with their life without really knowing or understanding the wonderful person the world has just lost..how can the world keep turning' (I'm paraphrasing, but something to that affect - It really resonated with me) I hope you find some peace in both these loses, and I'm sure your mom watches over you all day long. <3

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Teri link
8/29/2014 03:12:54 pm

Barbara, so very true and very well said. As I said the loss of squidoo will be replaced but there is never any replacement for a parent. We can accept it, learn to live with it and have peace with it but never can we replace it. It has changed us for who we were before. Thank you for your lovely words and for our continued friendship as we both endure our own losses. Blessings!

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Marilyn aka G-Ma
8/27/2014 04:16:53 pm

I feel for you. I have had the same thing happen in my life. My mother had cancer. She told us to be joyful when she past on as she would be with the Father. My MIL passed away because she had cancer and chemo. The chemo destroyed her immune system and she passed because they couldn't get rid of her pneumonia and the two infections she got toward the end. I will miss them both.

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Barbara Radisavljevic link
8/27/2014 07:22:40 pm

I'm so sorry you lost your mom so close to getting the news about Squidoo. I've had a few years to get used to my mom being gone. I can relate to your feelings about Squidoo ushering you into writing online and helping you to find your voice. I feel the same way. My life would be much different if Squidoo had never been part of it.

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Teri link
1/12/2015 02:28:03 am

Barbara, I appreciate your words. Knowing that others have gone or are going through this same process really helps me to understand that I am not alone no matter how alone I feel. It brings comfort to the soul and I hear the voices of camaraderie in my ear during these days when silence is my refuge. Blessings and I know the sun will shine again, right now it's still partly cloudy.

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